Sleep Through The Static
by SignedSealedWritten
Summary: Momma pretended that it was only the neighbors that she was worried about, but I could see it in her eyes. She was scared of me." Alice's troubled past, seen through her eyes, starting with present day and going into a flashback.
1. Prologue

**Sleep Through the Static**

**Author's Note:**

**This is the story of Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, from childhood to where she is now. The story opens with what is happening at the very moment in her life, and the rest will be a flashback type of thing. Another note, this was also written before the publishing of Breaking Dawn. Also, I claim no ownership to the characters, and the title is from an album called Sleep Through The Static by Jack Johnson.**

**I do hope that you enjoy! I know that it has been fun to write.**

"Yes, Edward, I _would_ in fact, happen to know." I say as my eyes scan the beautiful wedding dress of my creation, hanging as if waiting patiently for the moment that Bella would step into it, not long from now.

My brother (who couldn't seem to understand the word _no_ today, for some reason), stares at me with furious ochre eyes, as if not only_ mind reading_ was a talent, but he was suddenly acquired the ability to use heat vision against me, as well. I quickly close off my mind from anything that he might find of particular interest. Absentmindedly, I say, 'By the way, Edward, I'm kicking you out when she gets here. Which is in…" I close my eyes for effect. "exactly twenty minutes, fifteen seconds." I open my eyes and grin, flashing pearly whites and tipping my head to the side innocently. Sometimes, torturing Edward is fun.

Okay, so it's fun more often than it isn't.

"Alice, you can't force me out of my own bedroom." Edward groans, and sighs, starting to become seriously bothered by my antics today. And _maybe_ I shouldn't be torturing him on his wedding day … but that's what sisters are for, right?

"You're right," I say as if this fact has suddenly occurred to me out of the blue. "that would be _rude_."

"Thank you." He says, glad to have won.

I grin. "I'm kicking you out of the entire house."

"What? Mary Alice Cullen, I swear…" He uses my full name as if it would scorch me alive.

"Do you know _nothing_ about weddings? You're not allowed to see each other until the moment of!" I clap my hands at the end of the sentence.

"I'm going to kill you." He annunciates every word as if I'm incapable of hearing him today. It's selective hearing, actually.

"You're too late."

"Alice, please. You know how important this is to me." He pleads with me, and I imagine him begging me on hands and knees – it's not a vision, but I could very well make it come true, with how desperate for information about Bella he is, today.

"Oh, really? See, I couldn't tell that from the apparent panic and stress in your voice."

"Congratulations, Alice. You can come up with a retort. Really, bravo." The sarcasm runs heavy in his voice. Jasper would be having a fit.

"Come on, Edward, you're just all worried and anxious because I won't spill the beans about your future with Bella." I have the childish urge to stick out my tongue.

"It's not very lady-like to be rude, Alice. It isn't lady like at all." Neither was the tongue he saw me stick out at him in my mind.

"It's _very_ lady-like of you, all of this pestering me about Bella." I pull out a draw full of make-up. "Turn around." I tell him.

"Why?" He says as he turns around anyway, already hearing the reason in my mind.

"Because you can't see what I'm planning." I can hear him sigh. I pull out various makeup things and set them down on the counter. I've literally run out of room in my own bedroom – there are things _all_ over the place. So Edward let me set up in his room, and when Bella gets here, I'm attacking her via makeup in my bathroom. So I was kind of at Edward's mercy right now, but I wasn't going to make it easy for him. "Yet, I _can_ see what you're planning, and no matter _what_ you do to torture me, I'm not gonna let the cat out of the bag."

"How long until you force me out of the room, Alice?" He says, still facing the wall, but no doubt listening to my mind. I do believe it's time for some fun… _Hmm, maybe I'll make her goth…_.

"That's not funny, Alice."

"To you, not so much. But to me… I slay myself."

"Would you like me to make your job easier?" He says, not amused at all. I have to press my lips into a tight line to avoid laughing and _really_ provoking him… it's all fun and games until Alice gets hurt.

"I _do_ already have my work cut out for me. Look, if you're going to be here, make yourself useful."

"What do you want me to do now, Alice?" His voice is exasperated, and for once, I'm being the nice sister – keeping his mind off of things. The wedding isn't the only thing on his mind. I'm sure that what must come _after_ the wedding is bothering him too.

"Go hunting, Edward. It can't hurt." I say it offhand, as if it's a suggestion, and not a command, but of course he panics anyway.

"Why? Did you see something?"

"Yes. Me absolutely going _bonkers_ on your behind in about .01 seconds, if you don't do something besides bother me."

Its not like the whole thing hasn't been bothering me … yes, I did want Bella as a sister – a true sister, a true Cullen – but of course, it would bother _anyone_, I think, to watch their wife, sister, _best friend_, in my case, writhing in pain for three days. I feel my throat tighten in an entirely human way when I think about Bella in pain, and know that there is no medication that would be able to help that. I don't remember it myself … but I know from the others that it is pretty bad. And, knowing Edward, he'll be in just as much pain, watching.

It is Bella's decision, though. I think that is why I haven't looked to see how it will happen, when it will happen… I just know that it will happen. That's enough for me to know, for now… but of course, _other_ people have different ideas.

Take my brother, for instance.

Oh, crud.

I'd forgotten that he was in the room while I was thinking … not a very good thing, with the topics that had been going through my mind. I quickly hum some type of music (I think it's by some person with Dogg in their name, and God knows _that_ bothers Edward enough to get out of my head) as I search his face. It doesn't give anything away … almost. There's some kind of new emotion on his face … not quite fear, or anger, or even hurt. He's not upset… I don't know what it is, so I try to drop the subject.

"Just go hunting… it'll take your mind off things."

"And who will take _your_ mind off of things, Alice?" Crud. So he _did _hear me.

"Bella will." I answer the first thing – or name – that comes to my mind. "Like I said, I've got my work cut out for me … the way she struggles, I'll have to strap her down to get her too cooperate."

"Lovely, Alice." He plops himself down on the bed that almost nobody has ever used – stretching across it and pinching the bridge of his nose. I see he's truly distressed now, and I abandon my makeup stuff for five seconds. I've lived forever, I've got some time to spare.

I throw my tiny self down next to him, grinning sympathetically and stretching out my arms across the golden fabric. His eyes flicker to me, and he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, so I curl up next to him and rest my head against his side. In a big brother type fashion, he puts an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I finally break the silence with those two words, and they seem to slither across the time that it takes him to respond.

"It's alright." He says, but the words don't fully agree with him, and they come out chocked and strained.

"It's not, though." I'm not letting myself get off that easy. "I'm ruining your wedding day."

"Alice Cullen, if you sincerely think that you're ruining my wedding day, I _will _leave this room." He smiles briefly. "You can't possibly ruin my wedding day."

"Then I'm sorry for … thinking." It comes out stranger than I'd intended, and before I can press my lips together, he laughs. It bubbles up from somewhere deep inside him, and suddenly, his entire chest is shaking, and I go along with it, cautiously, laughing along with him. I don't know what's funny, but if he's laughing, it can only be a good thing.

"You truly are an odd one." He tells me, shaking his head ever so slightly.

I would have bowed if I had been standing up. "I try." I respond instead. A smile twitches across his lips as I hoist myself off of the bed, returning to my makeup and letting him think. A truly nice part about being a psychic is that I can see how badly my decisions will come out without going through the pain of them… not that I ever make mistakes. Or, see myself making mistakes.

Time passes in a vampire like fashion: I don't know if you're a vampire, but when you are, time doesn't pass in a normal way. It stretches out, like it is endless, but at the same time, it passes by so quickly that you don't know if it was an hour or a minute that just passed by.

"Thanks." His word shocks me, I hadn't seen it coming, which is odd. He must have just said it out of the blue.

"You've trumped the psychic. What am I being thanked for this time?" I say cautiously, one eyebrow raised as I turn around to find him in the exact same position as I left him.

He props himself up on one elbow to look at me. "Thank you for not telling me about Bella."

"You're very welcome."

"I'm serious, Alice."

I roll my eyes. "I don't need Jasper to tell me that." I jump up and sit on the counter, swinging my legs as I talk. "It's creepy sometimes, knowing the future. You're never surprised." I look up to meet his eyes. "You don't have to worry, I've already proven that I would tell you if she did something _real_ talented… take, jumping off a cliff, for instance."

"Oh, and look where _that_ got me."

I smile. "My point has been proven. If something was really wrong, you wouldn't need _me_ to tell you. You would know. Because you love her."

His answering smile is all the confirmation that I need to tell me that I've said the right things to calm his nerves.

And can successfully get back to annoying him.

"Now, _out_. This instant. I've got ten minutes, out, out, _out_!" I return to my Chihuahua with a serious case of napoleon complex attitude, pointing to the door and bouncing with each 'out'.

He laughs, no longer worried, as he springs up easily and heads out the door, shooting a few last words in my direction, the words that will trigger everything. "You're insane, Alice. Absolutely, one hundred percent crazy."

The words are airy, light, something _any_ brother might say to a sister, but at once that odd feeling comes over me. I'm somewhere else, but still here. I can hear Edward's concerned shouts as my body goes numb, all of my muscles give way, and I crumple.. This vision, if that is what it is, is different from any one that I've ever had. No, it isn't a vision.

I'm not sure if I ever hit the ground.

**Author's Note:**

**Let me know if you liked it, review please! More is on the way!**


	2. As Dreams Become Reality

**Sleep Through the Static**

**Author's note: This part starts the flashback. She's five, and its 1906. The song that was going through my mind when I wrote this was 'My Skin'. I don't know who it is by, but listen to it while you read these first few chapters, and you just might make yourself cry. I did, and I'm writing it. ****So, yeah. Kleenex warning. Though the real Kleenex warning comes in a few chapters. (And I'm sorry if I make you cry.)**

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Momma was brushing through my long, black hair, making it fall softly onto my back. Once in awhile, I would reach up to try and touch a lock, but Momma would always stop me before I was able to touch even one strand. She would tell me to sit like a good, patient, child, and that is what I would try to do. Its good to try to be a good girl for your Momma. At least, that was what they would tell me.

Eventually, I was able to feel the process of braiding my hair begin, as Momma started to braid two long pigtails into my hair, tugging and pulling every so often.

"Momma, may I get up now?" I asked when the pulling began to hurt. I was beginning to feel as if I couldn't sit still for a moment longer.

"Please, Mary Alice, try to sit still for a moment. I'm pleading with you for you to sit like a patient child for a moment longer. You wouldn't want the neighbors thinking that you were an unruly child, would you?"

"No, Momma." I said as sweetly as I could, but my throat hurt in that way that means you want to cry when I said it. She didn't understand what it was like to sit still for a long time, and to not have your Momma understand that it was hard. I tried to fold my hands into my lap like she always wanted me to, but I found that my feet were still swinging back and forth in the chair that had my feet unable to hit the ground.

"Momma," I began again, "Where are we going today?" Momma only dresses me up like this if she wants to show me off, usually to the church ladies. I don't like having to make myself pretty for them, but it was the only time that Momma pretended that she cared about me, so I went with her. It was hard, though, for me to sit through the teas that we went to with them. Sometimes, I fell asleep. That was bad.

Because of what I would see when I close my eyes.

She was finishing with the braiding of my hair, and I tried not to reach up to touch one of the braids. "We will be going to get you a new sun dress, Mary Alice. You'll enjoy that, won't you?"

"Yes, Momma." I did like new dresses, and pretty things.

"Then we will be heading to tea with some of the ladies from the Church." She told me that a moment later. I could feel my heart sink in my chest. I would have to show off for the ladies again. I tried to pretend that I didn't mind.

"Will Cynthia be coming with us?" I asked politely. Cynthia was my little sister. I already knew the answer to my question, but Momma didn't have to know about that. Whenever she learns about one of my come-true dreams, she calls Daddy in. I don't like that, so I try not to think about it. If I didn't think about it, I could pretend that Momma still loved me, that she wasn't scared of me. If I didn't think about it, I could pretend that Daddy doesn't hate me, because of what Momma has become from knowing me.

But I knew, because I like to think.

"No, Cynthia is too little to come for tea." That was exactly what Momma had said in my come true dream. Cynthia was only three. She was better than me. She didn't have come true dreams.

I think maybe Momma did love me, once, when I was little, when I was a kid, before I told her that I saw things that happened. That's when she didn't love me anymore. Even Cynthia is scared of me, Momma keeps her away from me, and she's only three. I know that Momma tries to make sure that I don't notice these things, but I do anyway.

I don't even know what a witch is, but I do remember the first day that Momma called me one. It was the first time that I'd had a vision, and I think I scared Momma really bad. That's when she called in Daddy, and he hit me while she yelled. I don't think Daddy wanted to do it, but I don't think he had a choice.

I was three. I was the same age that Cynthia is now.

"Okay, Momma." I tried to smile. "What kind of sundress are we going to get?" A yellow one, with lace and embroidered flowers. Daisies. I would look cute in it. It would fit the first time.

I jumped back about a foot in the air, and that made Momma bang her hand on top of my head. Immediately I started to shake. I started to say, "Momma," In my small voice, but I stopped. Momma can't help me, she can only hurt with these things. It's never happened before like that. It's only at night! It's only at night! I screamed those words inside my head. I'm not a witch. Witches are bad things, witches do bad things. I'm just a kid. I'm just a five year old kid. I'm not a witch!

"Mary Alice? Mary Alice, you talk to me this instant!" I jumped when I realized that Momma was shaking my shoulders, and was yelling at me to answer her, but I wasn't saying anything, just sitting in my chair and shaking.

"Momma," was all that I could manage. I'm scared. I don't want that sundress anymore.

"Mary Alice, what is wrong with you?" Momma's voice is angry, and I can see Cynthia looking over with interest from the other room. She's the perfect kid, at three. She doesn't make noise and she does what she is told. She sleeps at night in the company of normal dreams, filled with happy things. I see bad things in my dreams.

And now when I'm awake, too.

"Mary Alice, have you had one of those dreams?"

"No, Momma." I said, scared. "No, Momma, I'm awake."

She slapped my face, and I whimpered. "Don't you lie to me, young lady. Don't you see?" Momma said, and I wondered what she was talking about. "These things, they aren't supposed to be, and they take over you." Her voice was angry, and I don't think that she cared if I understood what she was talking about or not. She was just as scared as I was, only, she was scared of me.

"Momma, I didn't mean to."

"It doesn't matter, Mary Alice! What will the neighbors think?"

"We don't have to tell, Momma." I was crying now, the tears streaming down my face. "We don't have to tell. We can go to tea still. The church ladies won't know. Momma, I'll be good. Momma, please!" She won't look at me anymore, but she nods her head. She was still refusing to look at me when she said, "We'll be leaving soon." She left me on the chair, and didn't come back when I shouted. The chair was too high for me to get down on my own, I'm only three feet and two inches tall. I think Momma knew that when she left. I couldn't hurt her if I was stuck here. Momma pretended that it was only the neighbors that she was worried about, but I could see it in her eyes. She was scared of me. I could see what she would tell Daddy later, too.

I curled my legs up to my chest. "Momma," It came out as a broken sob. I didn't want Momma. I didn't want the Momma who was braiding my hair and yelling. I wanted the one who shared Christmas' with me before Cynthia was born. When Cynthia was born, things changed. She loved Cynthia more than me. I didn't blame Cynthia, it wasn't her fault. She couldn't help that she was better than me. I was a bad child, and I knew it.  
I was so confused. Momma didn't understand that I couldn't help it.

I curled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. I didn't care that Momma would say that it was not pretty to sit like this, but I wanted to please her. Then she would love me, right? I put my knees down, but then the pain in my chest came back. It felt as if someone had taken away all of my insides and left the hole there. I put my knees back to my chest and hugged them tighter than ever.


	3. A Brother's Love

Author's Note:

Most of you probably know that this story is going to be mainly in flashback form, through Alice's eyes, and that she is actually having the flashback. However, some of the chapters are going to be placed in the present – what is going on directly after Alice started having the flashback, so that you can see how Edward would react. This is one of those chapters. So, no, this chapter is not a flashback, but in the present time. Alice is still "vacant", I guess you could call it, which sort of freaks Edward out. You'll see.

**Sleep Through the Static**

"Alice!" He shouted her name, her ocher eyes wide and worried, unneeded breath hitching in his throat. He'd never seen her like this – her visions were never this violent, panicked, and she'd never crumpled to the ground as she just had. Instantly he'd rushed forward, catching the little pixie in his arms before she could hit the ground. He didn't worry about her hurting herself, but rather, he couldn't stand to see his invincible little sister crumple to the ground. It was plain wrong in his eyes.

Her eyes were black, no longer gold as they had been merely moments before, vibrant and full of life – now they seemed almost dead, gone from the world and holding nothing. Her eyes were the eyes of a dead girl.

Edward had been supporting himself by resting on his knees, but once he'd held her for a few minutes he gently lowered himself to the ground, cradling her in his arms. The bronze haired vampire crossed his long legs in an Indian style and rested his sister in his lap, letting her lay her head on his shoulder. Her lips parted and she whimpered sharply, but her eyes remained unchanged.

Edward's heart was clenched in his chest seemingly gripped by an icy hand that tried to strangle the long still organ. "Shh, Alice." He rubbed his sisters back in little circles soothingly, trying to calm her down. "I'm sorry, whatever this is, whatever I did, I'm so sorry." He hadn't a clue what this was – but whatever it was, there was no way that it could be a normal vision. She'd never had anything like this, and Edward was sure that he'd managed to do it. "I'll make it better, I promise. Please just hang on in there, alright?" He stroked her hair, wishing he had some way of contacting his father or brother. There was no way to get in touch with them now – he hadn't a phone near him, and feared getting up with her in his arms in case he was to hurt her by doing so. His father would be so much better at handling this, and his brother so much better at calming Alice down. She needed him right now.

There was something else that was off about this vision as well, if that was what it was – with all of Alice's visions, he'd been able to decipher them as she had them, to find out what was in her mind, what she was seeing. It was different this time – it was as if the signal had jammed, and all he was getting back was white noise and static. There were random bits and pieces, fragments of things that went by too fast for even him to catch. The eternal seventeen year old growled in frustration, needing to be able to see what she was seeing, or thinking, if his suspicions were correct and this wasn't a vision. It felt like he was confused for the first time in a long time, on a day when everything was supposed to be perfect.

Her head jerked suddenly to one side, as if she'd been slapped, but she didn't come around from whatever she was in. Edward's eyes burned angrily, horrified for his little sister at whatever was doing this to her. She shook, and he placed a hand on the cheek that she'd seemed to jerk away from. "It's alright, Alice. I'll get Jasper for you." He knew that she'd want nothing more, if she had been able to tell him at the moment.

The last shards of sunlight from the day bounced through his window and shone on the invisible prisms in their skin, as twilight fell. Would Jasper be too far away to feel that something was wrong? Edward could only hope that it wasn't the case. He was more used to dealing with these things, even if this was one that was out of the norm, and if Jasper left, so would the rest of the family, if they'd realized something was wrong with Alice, the entire family's sunshine.

They couldn't lose their sunshine.

**Author's note: I'm sorry that this one was shorter than the other two, but it was more difficult to write when it was a one sided conversation. The next chapter will be back to the flashback, and will be longer. I hope that you enjoyed it anyway. Review! **


	4. Left Alone

**Sleep Through the Static**

I knew that she wasn't going to come back, not until she was ready. I frightened her, even if I did not understand why. The very thought of me scared my Momma, and I could not change that. It scared my Father, too – for what scared her in turn scared him. Raven black hair cascaded down my shoulders. It stuck to my wet cheeks and that would upset my Momma as well. I did not want to upset her – she was all that mattered to me. I had to make sure that my Momma loved me.

What if she did not come back? She did not love me, but I wanted her to come back.

My arms were wrapped around my knees. In the silence I was alone. My heart beat quickly against my chest, the blood pounded in my ears. I had never felt so alone in my life before – at least when she made Father hurt me after one of my come true dreams, I wasn't alone. Being alone was worse than being in pain.

_There was a face. _

Scared, my eyes flashed back to the future. That face had not been in this room. I knew almost instantly that it was one of _those_ dreams – the ones that Momma did not love me because of. Again I began to cry – not because I was scared of the face that I had seen, but because of what it meant.

It meant that Momma would hate me even more.

I did not understand why Momma did not love me; only that she did not.

_The face was handsome, and older than me. It belonged to someone who was too old to be a playmate for me. It saddened me that my come true dream visitor did not belong to someone I could call my own_.

_I shook in my seat. My arms wrapped tighter around my legs. _

The face had eyes that were a devil's color.

_It did not scare me. Though I knew that he was not there before me, I reached my hand forward as if too touch this face. My Momma would describe this color as the devil's color; she would tell me that it was the color _of blood and things that were bad for my becoming._ I knew this as certainly as I knew my name was Mary Alice Brandon. This was another dream that had decided to no longer live when I was asleep. _

_When I had been asleep, they were easier to hide. _

_I did not think they were the color of the devil. I thought they were the color of the roses in Momma's garden. They were a color – how could someone see them as bad? How could my Momma not understand that? There was that same color in this room, in the color of the dress that my sister wore. There were colors darker and lighter and rich. How could she see darkness in them? _

His eyes were the color of crimson and he reached out his hand towards something… the hand was scarred and so was the face … so much time had passed and his hands were pale … the scars were lovely, like the dresses that Momma wanted me to wear.

_I cried because I knew I could not ever meet him. I wanted to see this face in truth, to reach out and touch the scars lovely like a dandelion and show my Momma that nothing was bad about my dreams. I wanted her to know that she could love me again. She didn't have to be afraid. _

I can't love you_, she said with a voice hollow and devoid of love. Her eyes were the same. You are a witch, said her voice, and she was no longer lovely. _

_And as I waited, the hours passed and I cried, waiting and hoping for my Momma's return, all the while knowing that it had no point. _

_She did not – she could not – love me. _

_Even at five, I understood this better than she did. _

**TBC**

**Author's Note: **

**I'm sorry that this chapter is short – and I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've updated. I really hope that you'll review – I'm unsure of whether or not there are people who'd like to read this. I'm hoping, of course, that there are. If there are people interested, I'll be updating much more quickly than I did before. Life got in the way, I apologize. **

**3,**

**SSW**


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